


i'm crazy and you're out of your mind

by transvav



Series: anything for you [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF, X-Ray & Vav (Cartoon)
Genre: Amnesia, DAD KING RYAN, Evil!Vav, Hope you enjoy, M/M, Oh, and this entire thing is so ridiculously domestic it's insane, anyways welcome to true hell, but it's very mild, idk that's about it, kerry is ryan's son, shrugging noises, there is a little sexy time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 09:29:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5200817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transvav/pseuds/transvav
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gavin wakes up the first time, he sees Ray, but doesn't know anyone else in the room.<br/>When Gavin wakes up the second time, he's being kissed on the hand by an attractive stranger who claims to be his partner. He's then informed that he's missing two years of memories.<br/>And apparently, he used to be a hero? And a sort-of dad? And then he was a villain?<br/>This is all very confusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm crazy and you're out of your mind

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place 3 months after the first one. Gavin has an actual costume now and not just a hoodie and baggy jeans. Also, Kerry is adorable and Ryan's child. This quickly got out of hand. Enjoy!

“This is ridiculous,” Hilda muttered, going over the map once more. “There’s no way we’re getting anywhere close to him before there’s a repeat of three months ago.”

“And with more _death_ ,” Rusty added, shaking his head. “It’d be a good plan if you can prove to us you can actually grab him.”

“Rusty!” the scientist exclaimed, whirling on the other with a shocked look on her face. “They can’t.”

“Ah, yeah they can,” Rusty said, giving a short nod to Mogar, whose stance stiffened slightly. “Big guy over here’ll protect his boyfriend any chance he gets. No one’s gonna be able to touch X-Ray.”

“Except-”

“The drunkard is correct,” Mogar said. Rusty shot a narrow glare at him before shrugging and resigning to the ‘insult.’ “I will protect my mate with my life.”

“Unnecessary extreme there,” X-Ray mumbled from his chair, but when Mogar glanced back at him with a hardened stare he smiled. “Still nice though.”

“But what if you can’t find him?” Hilda asked. 

“Just follow the smoke and flames and destruction,” the hero joked.

“Alright. What if he doesn’t _listen_ to you. What if you get to him and he just attacks?”

“He won’t,” X-Ray stated confidently. “I don’t care if he’s a bad guy or what. We’re best fucking friends through thick and thin. He has to listen to me.” 

“He shot you!”

“Okay, I mean-”

“Yeah, defend that one.”

After a few seconds, Ray sighed, giving a nod or two. “So maybe he shot at me and it’s not really justifiable.”

“Exactly.”

“But I’m still going to fucking do it!”

“Jesus christ, you’re so dumb.”

“Maybe I am. But I’m also stupid.”

With that, Ray and Mogar were gone from the room, and, judging by the slam of the door from not too far off, had already left to put their plan into action. Rusty turned to the scientist, who was staring at the door with an expression of ‘ _are you fucking kidding me_.’ “You gotta admit,” the man said. “He’s pretty stubborn.”

“If he dies, we get the hell out of here, go our separate ways, and never speak of this again.”

“Agreed.”

* * *

 

A simple walk, Gavin had told Ryan as he’d left. That’s all.

“Don’t destroy too much,” Ryan had chuckled, and Gavin had flashed him a quick grin before pulling his mask up and slipping through the back door. There were no promises to be made.

And nothing to stop him, Gavin reminisced as he cheerfully made his way towards downtown, watching in glee as people instantly fled to get out of his way. The entire city was well aware of the departure of their ‘heroes’- many had witnessed Mogar fleeing with X-Ray in his arms three months ago, and rumours had spread about the abandonment. The city was at the complete mercy of the Mad King and his new partner Cinder, along with the other lesser villains that made themselves known from time to time. And they hadn’t done much, truth be told- little things here and there, like buildings burning and people mysteriously disappearing. Ryan had explained it as waiting for the right moment- _still,_ Gavin mused, flicking a few sparks towards a nearby garden full of roses. _Three months is a while_.

There was a screech as the garden flickered to life, the flames expanding far more than expected and dancing precariously close to a house nearby. With a covered grin he shot another small fire towards the building, watching as it caught and grew even more, casting the street into an eerie glow and sending smoke billowing into the evening sky. People quickly fled outside and away in the other direction as sirens began to echo in the distance. That was their one relief against him- the fire trucks.

“That seems like a bit of a fire hazard,” a voice spoke up from behind. Gavin instantly started the flames up again, letting the heat settle in his palm in a comforting manner before he turned.

“Hullo, X-Ray,” he muttered, and the other looked slightly put off. “Thought you were off in hiding?”

“Not hiding,” his old friend replied. “Healing up.”

Ray lightly put a hand to his chest, grimacing at what Gavin could only guess what the phantom pain. He huffed, raising his palm towards Ray, whose hands quickly shot up in front of him in self defense. “Dude, chill, I just wanted to talk.”

“Oh, sure,” Gavin replied conversationally, watching Ray carefully. “Talk away.”

“I’m surprised you’ll actually listen,” the other muttered. “From what I’ve experienced, you usually do the whole ‘act first, questions later’ thing.”

“I had a reason last time. If you just want to talk, whatever.” He shrugged. “Plus I’m sure this time you know how easy it is for me to beat you. So I don’t expect much.”

“Yeah, well,” Ray laughed nervously. “You know me. I never really had much of a plan.”

Something in Ray’s voice made him pause. With narrowed eyes he took a careful step forward, lowering his hands and letting the flames die out, watching the other man carefully. Ray watched, his hands still up defensively, an awkward smile on his face. “What does that mean?” _And what is that look he’s giving me?_

Ray’s eyes flicked to something behind him and Gavin froze as he sensed it. The younger man’s face was still twisted in that smile- _apologetic._ “Sorry, Gav.”  
Oh, for God’s sakes- Something hard struck against his head and he fell to the ground, his vision blurring at the edges. He felt himself being picked up- _Mogar_ , was his last coherent thought before he blacked out.

 

  
He woke up again in a room with the door shut and locked tight. The bed was a cot, a bathroom to the side, a one-sided glass window. “A prison, basically,” he muttered to himself. “Cheers, Ray.”

His gloves were gone, of course, and his boots, which he didn’t really understand. His mask, too, had been taken off. He reached up and brushed his hand against his jaw to feel the stubble there, huffing quietly before dropping his arm and continuing to look around. No _visible_ cameras but he supposed that’s why there was a window- so they could easily see him from wherever they were. The roof of the room was barely that- curved cement that stopped abruptly and turned into a brown stone. Underground, by the sewers- where they’d been hiding during the whole Corpirate fiasco.

Running his fingers along the wall, he heard the door unlock- opening and closing behind him and sitting in the chair left on the side. He turned and huffed when he say Ray sitting and Mogar standing there, the latter looming protectively at the former’s side, and Gavin quirked a bitter smile. There was that apologetic look again. After a long pause of silence, Gavin slumped onto the cot, laying back and kicking one leg over the other. “So this is happening, I s’pose.”

“Gav, you gotta understand-”

“I do understand. You kidnapped me, plain and simple.”

“I had to. I need to know what the _fuck_ happened to you.”

“I grew up.”

“Gavin.”

Ray was looking at him with another look that made him roll his eyes. He pushed himself up onto his elbow, raising an eyebrow at the hero and sighing. “If  you’re not gonna do anything then why bother?”

“I- we’ll talk later,” Ray huffed, standing up and turning to the door. “It won’t take long before I can let you out, though. A month or so?”

“Do you have a month?” Gavin grinned. It grew when Mogar let out a protective growl, and he shrugged. “I’m not gonna do anything to you, but hey. You know who I’m with. And you know what he’ll do.”

Ray looked worried for a moment before he unlocked the door and disappeared. Gavin thought he heard something as they both left- “ _After she’s done, it’s not gonna matter_.”

Gavin didn’t want to think about what that meant.

* * *

 

Ryan rubbed a hand over his eyes, dropping the pen back on the desk and taking a sip of diet coke from the can to the side. He scratched the back of his neck, yawning and shaking the sleep from his head, and looked to the door when he heard the familiar creak. “Kerry, shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Sorry Dad,” the child said, pushing the door open further. “But, uh. I’m kinda worried?”

“C’mere kiddo.” Kerry shuffled in, clambering onto Ryan’s lap and curling up. “What are you worried about?”

“‘M worried about Vav. Gavin, I mean. I’m worried about him.”

“Why?”

“He was supposed to be home in time to read me a story...”

Ryan glanced at the clock and nearly stiffened when he saw that yes, it was in fact a lot later than he had previously thought. He ran his fingers through his son’s hair and gently picked him, grunting excessively to make Kerry giggle. “He’ll be fine. He can take care of himself, y’know?”

“Because he was a hero once!”

“Yes,” he laughed. “He was a hero once.”

“I want to be like him. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Ryan told him as he placed him back down in his bed. “If you want to grow up and be a hero, then you can grow up and be a hero. I’m not going to stop you.”

“You will when I’m older!”

“But that’s when you’re _older._ You’re not a threat to me _quite_ yet. But watch your back because eventually, the Mad King will prevail!” He outstretched his fingers and Kerry squealed, aware of what was about to happen, but it was too late- his father was already tickling his sides mercilessly with a trademark evil laugh, and it left Kerry giggling and squirming helplessly on the bed.

“Never!” Kerry managed to squeal, and pushed the hands away, reaching up and tickling Ryan in a return attack. The older man yelled in false surprise, slumping forward onto the bed and burying Kerry underneath him.

“Oh, no! The mighty Dragonface has defeated me! Foiled again!”

Kerry was laughing, but he paused and tried to smother a yawn behind his hand. Ryan smiled and pressed a kiss to his son’s forehead. “Go to bed, Kerry. I’ll see you in the morning, okay.”

“G’night, dad,” Kerry hummed. Ryan went to the light and flicked it off, smiling warmly.

“Good night, Kerry. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Ryan shut the door softly, and, after stepping away and making sure Kerry wasn’t going to follow him, swiftly and silently made his way back to the main office. The second he sat down in his chair he reached for his cell phone, speed dialing the number- when no one picked up, he called from the office landline. Nothing. A huff of anger left him and he rubbed his temples patiently. “Gavin,” he growled. “Don’t do this, not now.”

Another few calls from each phone provided nothing, and he hummed in displeasure. Opening his laptop, he connected to the tracker in the cell phone and in the gloves. The signal he received was weak and untraceable. In a fit of anger he slammed the laptop shut and heard the shatter of the screen, but he was too frustrated to even think about being annoyed with that. He pressed a button on the desk and heard a few replies of ‘yeah, boss?’ It was with a grim smile he announced his problem.

“Cinder is missing. I have reason to suspect he has been taken. _Find_ him or none of you are going to be found. Do you understand.”

“Yes, sir,” was a unanimous reply, and he let go of the button, leaning back in his chair with his palms pressed together beneath his chin.

“For _their_ sake,” he muttered to himself. “I do so hope X-Ray and Mogar don’t do anything stupid.”

* * *

“This is stupid,” Gavin mumbled, throwing another rock at the cemented ceiling, reveling in the _crack_ noise it made. “Leave me to rot while you work on whatever you’re doing. Good lord, you’re a boring bunch. At least talk to me.”

He grinned at the viewing window, picking up another rock and aiming it at the glass. He threw it over and it bounced off, leaving the glass barely scuffed and the rock just bouncing on the floor. “I know you’re there,” he called. “It’s awful here. Please, X-Ray, c’mon. A quick chat?” He pursed his lips in a pout, kicking his legs in the air. With a lack of a response he rolled his eyes, sitting up on the cot and deciding instead to wander around the small room, the sound of his bare feet against the concrete making a satisfying pap when he walked. 

“C’mon,” he hummed. “It’s been a week at least. I don’t deserve any attention?”

The door unlocked and he turned with a grin. It almost faltered when he noticed it was Mogar, but with a shrug he slid over back to the cot and flung himself backwards onto it, making a satisfying creaking noise that made the bear man flinch.

“I wish to discuss your... relations with the Mad King.”

“Discuss away, Moges.”

“How are you so sure of him? That he will not lie?”

“He lies plenty,” Gavin replied after a moment of thought- the longer the conversation, the more company he had. “Just never around me. I’m sure you don’t lie around X-Ray?”

The bear man paused in thought. “...No,” he answered. “No, because Ray is the one I trust and love. I have no reason to lie to him.”

“And there you go,” Gavin chuckled. “There’s no reason to lie to someone when you have nothing to hide from them. The King does not lie to me because of that.”

“How are you positive?”

“Because I _know_ when he’s lying.”

“...You are able to perceive his faults? His misdirections?”

“A year together can do that to you, love. I’m sure you’d be able to tell with X-Ray, too, if you’d open your eyes. He’s hurting, I’m sure.”

“Ray is alright for now,” Mogar growled. “Your assessment of the situation is unneeded and unwanted.”

“Fair enough. But why do you care about my position with the Mad King and whether he’s lying to me or not?”

“I was curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat,” Gavin chirped. Then, as an afterthought, he tacked on a quick, “or in your case, killed the bear,” and grinned even wider when Mogar growled again, low and threatening. “You’re not that _scary._ You’re like a big teddy.” He reached up and ruffled the mess of curls on the other man’s head, making him reel back in shock. With a laugh, Gavin fell back onto the cot and waved. Mogar, confused and slightly offended, turned to the door, opening it and locking it behind him once he left, and Gavin was alone again, winking at the window and beginning to hum a terribly pitched rendition of O, Canada.  
  


 

“You were right the first time, y’know.”

Ray’s voice wasn’t unpleasant to the ear, but it still made Gavin grimace just a little. He opened one eye and looked over towards the chair- sure enough, his old friend was sitting there, hands in his lap and a tired look on his face. “It was about a week after when Mogar came in.”

“And it’s been about another week,” Gavin shrugged and closed his eyes. “What do you want?”

A long pause followed as Ray starting picking at his gloves, thinking of what to say, while Gavin let his mind wander a bit. Maybe he could pick a fight with Ray at some point? Just to prove he’d changed, because it was obvious the other was still stuck on something about _brainwashing-_

“Mogar’s mom is a cow.”

Gavin choked on his own spit. “I’m sorry, _what?”_

“His mom’s a cow.”

“Ray, that’s bloody rude-”

“No, you don’t understand, she is an actual fucking cow.”

“...like, moo?”

“Moo.”

“Is. Is your boyfriend on drugs?”

Ray laughed, genuine, and it made Gavin want to laugh as well- eventually the two of them were lost in their laughter, something hysteric and desperate in it. It was a relief, even if it only lasted for a minute or so before Ray’s smile dropped as he watched Gavin. The other man wiped at his eyes and turned to grin at Ray, but he, too, lost his smile when he saw the look on his old friend’s face. 

“Why?”

Gavin closed his eyes, letting out a heavy sigh and falling back onto the cot, hands rubbing at his face. “Ray...”

“No, man, I need to know. Why him, why this? Why?”

“You were gone.”

“I came _back.”_

“A little too late, Ray. You were gone when it _mattered._ And yeah, sure. My fault.”

“We could have talked it out-”

“Exactly. We could have. But we didn’t because you up and _left._ Ditched everything and everyone because you couldn’t handle anything. And if you were hurting I doubt you gave a second thought about what happened to me.”

“Gavin-”

“No, shut up for a second Ray.” He sat back up and gave the other a leveled glare. “I know it was my fault but jesus christ we were best fucking friends. You didn’t care that I realized what a mistake I made and you didn’t know how useless I felt without you. You were always the stronger one, don’t you get that? You were the reason I became a hero in the first place and you were the reason I kept trying to do the right thing.”

“You’re still blaming yourself over that, aren’t you?”

“...I used to, yeah.”

“Gavin, it was a _mistake._ You never meant to start it, and the only result was barely a few burns, you didn’t kill anyone-”

“I got it, okay? But it wasn’t that on it’s own. I wanted to burn that house down, Ray, some part of me wanted them dead and that’s what scared me back then. That’s what used to scare me every damned day I did the hero thing with you. That some day it was all gonna come back and everything I’d gone through to be the good guy would just fall apart.”

“I- Gavin, holy shit, I didn’t know-”

“Exactly. You didn’t know. And you left and it all came crashing down. I didn’t want to do anything anymore, I didn’t want to think or speak and- and then he came. And he helped. Dammit, he _helped,_ he didn’t care, but he did care. He cared a lot more than I expected him to. He showed me that it was okay to not be a hero anymore, it was okay to just let it go. I wasn’t meant to be the good guy, he knew, I knew... you knew. We all _knew.”_

“Gavin, I- I’m sorry.”

The words were heartfelt enough and if Gavin had still cared, it would have cut a lot deeper than anything else Ray could have said. “Yeah, well. Too late, X-Ray.”  
He saw Ray flinch back from the corner of his eye and smirked, just a little, as the hero got up and left the room dejectedly. Laying back, he closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. _Take your sweet time, love_ , he told Ryan in his mind. _This is what I’ve been waiting for_.

 

 

He spent the next few days wondering to himself where Ryan was. Despite liking having as much time to himself as possible, he couldn’t help but be slightly worried about how long it was taking. Two weeks- unless Ray had been lying to him, but Gavin was sure he hadn’t been. Sometime between Ray’s first visit and his second one, Mogar had come back in and sat down, his face twisted uncomfortably.

“Ray has told me I need to... explain myself to you. For reasons he could not reveal.”

With interest, Gavin let his head turn to the side, facing Mogar. He’d been hanging upside down off the bed, his arms brushing the floor, and he gave a lopsided grin when the bear entered. But now he pursed his lips and lifted an arm, waving at Mogar to continue before dropping the limb.

“I do not know where to begin.”

“Was there a reason you left the King? It couldn’t have been just a spur of the moment, ‘oh, hell, Mogar hates him now’ sort of idea. Maybe it was, I don’t know.”

“Mogar-” the bear man shook his head and Gavin tried (and failed) to not snort- “ _I_  was on my way to find X-Ray but I discovered something before I even exited the Mad King’s lair. I passed by a table and hit a switch by accident- the accident became my fortune, as I discovered my mother trapped in ground beneath a moving metal piece. She was hooked to a machine. I barely had enough strength to free her from her confines and pull her from the hole. I knew I would not be able to defeat him alone, so I continued on my quest to find the hero. After I was sure my mother was safe. When I discovered him, he was on his way to return here and insisted we discuss our mutual distaste in the Mad King’s actions. He admitted his hatred of me was petty and childish- I, in turn, decided he would help me in my quest. We needed time to plan and discuss, he told me. I was in disagreement, but when I saw the havoc he was reigning across this city I concurred that this was a correct assumption. We bided time, and during such I-”

Mogar suddenly cut himself off, his face flushing, and Gavin grinned, sitting up. “You _liiike_ him.”

“Yes. I do like him.”

“And he likes you back. You two are cute together.”

“...Thank you?”

Gavin hummed and pressed his hands to his cheeks, rubbing up and down for a while before huffing a slow sigh and waving towards Mogar. “And X-Ray told you to tell me this?”

“Yes. I’m unsure why-”

“He wants me to think about how he lies. Things like that,” Gavin sighed again, giving a pointed look to the vigilante. “Ray doesn’t think he’s good for me. Doesn’t get it, really.”

“Do you love him?”

Gavin looked downwards. “I mean, you can’t just-”

“Does he love you?”

Mogar waited, but the brit did not answer. He got up and went to the door, opening it and locking it behind him, leaving Gavin to his thoughts about Ryan again. And those thoughts had carried for the rest of the time up until Ray’s second visit.

“Ray,” he asked when the hero came in. “Why am I still here?”

The younger man huffed, but didn’t answer, so Gavin continued. “I’m trying to get it. I am. But it’s really obvious you can’t figure anything out. I _don’t_ understand. Why can’t you just understand that- that I’m not Vav anymore? Please, Ray-”

He hugged his knees to his chest, sniffling a bit. “Please Ray, I want to go home. Let me go _home_.”

Ray didn’t even bother closing the door as he stepped quickly to Gavin’s side, dropping down beside him and pulling him into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Gavin,” he told him as he kept a tight grip. The brit’s fists were clenching into the front of his suit, shaking in his arms. Eventually he pulled away with his head kept down, his hands still gripping onto Ray. “I really mean it. I didn’t mean to make you upset- I just- I’m trying to fix it, I promise.”

“I’m sorry too,” Gavin sighed.

“Dude, it can’t be your fault. I left you when we needed to man up and talk about things, it’s on me. It’s not like you meant to hurt me.”

“Oh, you misunderstand. I’m not sorry about that,” he grinned up at Ray. “I’m sorry for _you_ \- and how painful I’m gonna make this.”

Ray went wide-eyed as it finally sunk in what was about to happen- Gavin let it settle for a moment before he let go, rearing his head back and slamming it back against Ray’s. The younger yelped in pain, falling to the ground and clutching his now-broken nose. Gavin ran his fingers on his forehead lightly, grimacing at the thought of the bump that would no doubt form there. He stepped over his old friend and began to stride confidently towards the door, but tripped over the hand that grasped at his ankle. “No. Fuck you,” Ray growled. “We aren’t fucking done here.”

“I was kidding when I said it’d be painful, but if that’s how you want it to go, fine.”

He kicked out at Ray’s hand and the hero let go, pushing himself up off the ground only to launch himself at Gavin again, hands already curled into fists and launching a flurry of punches. Gavin laughed, blocking every one before throwing his own punches, hitting the hero a lot more than Ray had hit him. This continued for a while until Gavin hummed in displeasure. Ray gave him a confused glare and he grinned in response as he swiped his arm into Ray’s side with enough force that the younger stumbled slightly and nearly fell. He regained his balance and kicked out at Gavin’s knee, throwing another punch towards Gavin’s gut directly after. The kick missed but the punch landed, leaving Gavin winded. He took a deep gasp for air as Ray went to throw another punch- this time towards his face, and he caught the fist. Ray’s eyes widened again and Gavin grinned. He caught Ray’s other hand as well, locking them in a power struggle- Ray trying to push Gavin down, and Gavin trying to push Ray. 

“Hilda!” Ray yelled, glaring at his old friend, and Gavin giggled to himself- “Jesus christ- Hilda _wake the fuck up and start your damned laser!_ ”

Gavin giggled again, tightening his grip and pushing even harder. Ray’s feet started sliding as he was slowly pushed back. “You honestly think I didn’t go all this time without training to defend myself?” Gavin hummed. “You think I was going to rely on just a pair of gloves to keep me safe from _you_ and anyone else? I learned my damn lesson about being weak, X-Ray. I think it’s time that you learned yours.”

With a force Ray wasn’t aware he even had, Gavin gave a final push and the hero crashed to the ground on his back. He felt warmth drip down his cheek- shit, that’s right, his nose was broken and bleeding, he’d almost forgotten about that. “I didn’t want to hurt you, not really,” Gavin mumbled, standing over Ray. A flicker of sadness showed on his face for the briefest of moments before he grinned darkly, lifting his foot and placing it gently on Ray’s throat. “But you’ve really tested my limits here, X-Ray. And if you’ve been this much of a pest, then I might have to put you out of commission for a few more months. Or years. Or, y’know. Forever. Who’s really counting at this point?”

Ray gasped as Gavin’s heel began to drive down on his windpipe, effectively cutting off air supply. Ray grasped lamely at Gavin’s ankle and Gavin rolled his eyes, pressing down at an angle. “I’m not going to kill you. You might have some issues with drooling later on once you heal, but you won’t die. Despite everything, we were _friends_ once.”

Ray’s grip fell limp as Gavin looked at him with something that was a type of fondness. “I am sorry,” the brit mumbled.

“Well I’m not,” came another voice, and Gavin’s head whipped around as the sound of something charging up was heard. There was a flash of blue and he fell backwards, his head dropping onto the bed. Hilda pulled Ray up from the floor and checked over his neck. “Minor bruising, nothing too serious. He wasn’t lying, though. The way he was pressing he wouldn’t have killed you.”

Ray looked down at Gavin as Rusty came in with a pile of blue in his arms. There was a heavy silence among the three of them, Mogar sleeping somewhere else in the bunker, and Ray finally sighed, taking the costume from Rusty. “Yeah, I know.”  
  


 

Gavin woke up again on a soft bed in a cement room in a spandex suit that was a brilliant bright blue and had his logo on the front. 

He threw his legs over the side of the bed, unfamiliar with the room he was in, his eyes wandering around the place, looking over the blank walls. And then the door opened.  
Ray came in the room in his own pair of bright spandex, his green and with his logo on them. He smiled really wide at Gavin. “Hey, you okay?”

Three other people filtered in behind him and Gavin’s attention flicked to each one in turn. “I’m fine, Ray, just. My head hurts.”

Ray’s smile widened even more, until Gavin held up a hand. “I have a couple questions, though- uh.” He swallowed nervously. “What are you wearing, what am I wearing, and who are they?”

The smile dropped, the woman with the purple hair smacked Ray’s head and said, “I _told_ you it wasn’t ready!” and an explosion rattled the room. The older (homeless?) man suddenly was very alert, hissing “They found us! Move!” but no one had time to react at the four of them were dropped to the floor. Gavin scrambled further back on the bed as three men in masks walked in and looked at him. 

_“Shit!”_ one exclaimed. “He’s a fucking hero again?”

“Dude, boss is gonna be pissed.”

“He said bring him back at all costs, so.”

They gave him a look and he swallowed in fear- one of them came closer, pulling a baton from his belt. “Sorry, sir,” he told him, and Gavin almost got out his confused noise before the masked man hit him on the head and he was knocked out cold again.

* * *

 

Ryan was expecting the knock on his door- had been expecting it for at least a month now, but it was such a relief to hear it anyways, even if it was two in the morning and his kid was _asleep._

What he didn’t expect was Gavin to be asleep in a fireman's carry on one henchmen’s shoulder, dressed in the familiar Vav costume that Ryan was so positive they’d thrown away. Ryan cast a glare to the men as they gently passed Gavin’s limp form over to him- one of them opened his mouth to say something and instantly withered under the gaze.

“You will be rewarded for finding him. Now _get out._ ”

The three men fled in terror and closed the door behind them as Ryan walked to the bedroom, cradling Gavin in his arms. He placed his partner down on the bed carefully, brushing his hair from his face and taking off the gloves, cape and boots. Ryan continued to run his fingers through Gavin’s hair, smiling at his sleeping form. As the lad began to move, Ryan sat on the edge of the bed, carefully and gentle as he took Gavin’s hand in his. 

“Hey, Gav,” he murmured as tired hazel eyes blinked up at him. Confusion flooded Gavin’s face and Ryan pressed a kiss to his knuckles. “It’s okay, baby, you’re safe now.”

“Uh. Yeah, but- um...”

Ryan stiffened slightly, knowing very suddenly that something was very, _very_ wrong. He put Gavin’s hand down on the bed again, helping him sit up, and when Gavin pulled away Ryan knew.

“What did they do?” he hissed, anger flooding his system. “God, what the hell did they _do?”_

“I’m- I’m sorry, do I- am I supposed to know you?”

“We were...” Ryan trailed off, looking for the right words. They’d never actually labeled themselves, so- “Lovers? No, that’s not right. Partners, I guess. Romantically. Maybe? I mean, we’ve definitely had relations of the-”

“You’re cute,” Gavin said suddenly before slapping a hand over his mouth, looking confused and worried.

“‘Cute,’ huh?” Ryan smiled. “That’s a new one.”

“Can I ask why I was kidnapped to come here? And why I’m in this? And why Ray was acting weird?”

“Slow down, Gavin, one at a time. I have a question of my own, actually. How much do you remember?”

The younger man slumped a little, his eyes going to his lap and unfocusing just a bit as he struggled to think about the last memory he had. Ryan waited patiently, his heart clenched in his chest as he kept his calm composure. This _hurt,_ and he couldn’t place why- then again, there was always that little exception when it had come to Gavin. Gavin always had the little things that threw Ryan off.

“I remember Ray and I were moving with his mom out of the little town we grew up in, and we were both really excited because we were going to be heroes. Actual, real life heroes,” Gavin started picking at his suit, plucking the spandex and feeling it gently snap back against his chest. “And a little bit about a cot, and a mirror, and being underground. Those are more like a dream than a memory though. And then just... waking up here. With you. Which was... nice. I guess.”

Ryan gave him a small smile, but shook his head. “Gavin... it’s almost Christmas. Of 2015.”

“Oh,” the lad gasped. “Oh, god, I- I lost that much of my memory? What _happened,_ how did it happen, I don’t-”

“I think for now you should rest. I can explain more when you aren’t so tired.” He paused and thought about his words carefully. “Do you mind staying here? I can understand if you would like to leave, but-”

“Staying here is fine. I don’t think I really have anywhere else to go. I’d say I wanted to find Ray, but... something was off about him. He was so tense when I woke up. I- did we fight? Do you know?”

“I- yes. You fought. It wasn’t pretty, and part of it might have been my fault. A lot of it. Was my fault, actually.”

“Oh.” 

There was a pressing silence for a few moments before Gavin rubbed at his eyes and yawned. He shifted himself under the covers and Ryan stood. “I’ll be just across the hall in the office if you wake up and need anything.”

“Thanks, Ryan,” was the returned mumble. 

It wasn’t until the villain had sat down in his office that he realized he’d never told Gavin his name.

 

  
 _Must have fallen asleep on my desk,_ was Ryan’s first coherent thought when he woke up with a pen stuck to his face. He jolted awake when he remembered exactly what had woken him up.

“Kerry!” he gasped, jumping up and dashing for the door. 

He crashed into the bedroom to see his son clinging to Gavin and giggling wildly, a grin spread on his face and a confused but genuine smile on Gavin’s. “Dad!” Kerry shouted, turning towards the door. “Why didn’t you tell me Gavin came home last night?”

“Kerry, uh-” Ryan paused, bringing a hand to his face and rubbing slowly, but the child’s attention was already back onto Gavin. 

“We were really worried about you Gavin. I missed you lots. I was so afraid you would get hurt or something and I didn’t want that to happen to you. I missed you a lot, Papa.”

Ryan winced back, but Gavin’s grip tightened inexplicably on Kerry. He glanced up at Ryan with wide eyes, as if to ask what was going on,and Ryan made a motion with his hands as if to say ‘calm down, I’ll explain it to him and you.’ Gavin sighed, rubbing the kid’s back, rocking back and forth ever so slightly. Ryan went to pull Kerry back, however, and Gavin’s eyes flashed dangerously, his grip tightening even _further._ The older man raised an eyebrow and Gavin chuckled nervously, relinquishing his grip and letting Kerry pull away into Ryan’s waiting arms.

“Kerry,” Ryan began, sitting his son down gently on the edge of the bed- Gavin scooted his feet out of the way and took a deep breath, glancing away when Kerry looked at him. “Gavin... isn’t really doing so well right now. In a way, he _did_ kind of get hurt-” he heard a sharp, worried gasp, and he quickly continued to reassure the child- “but it’s not like a scar or a wound you can heal very easily. Gavin’s lost his memories, Kerry, he doesn’t... he doesn’t remember us right now.”

There was a heavy atmosphere after Ryan told his son that. Kerry’s eyes flickered to Gavin in uncertainty, but he received an apologetic nod in response. “Oh,” the child mumbled, bunching his hands up into the comforter. Ryan began glancing around for something to cheer him up, and was coming up with nothing, until-

“That’s okay! I know you can fix it, Dad, you’re really smart like that. And in the meantime, I can keep him company! And maybe I’ll help remind him by telling him stories about when he was a hero and when he met you! Oh, and we can play lots of video games and he can read me bedtime stories like he used to and we can start all over again because he doesn’t remember reading them in the first place!”

He grinned cheerfully, standing on the bed at the tips of his toes and placing a kiss to his father’s cheek before leaping off- “careful, Kerry-” and running out the door, leaving a very confused duo in the bedroom. Ryan started laughing, something defeated in it, and he slumped down on the bed where his son had once been. 

“He’s an optimistic little shit, I’ll give him that.”

“Can you?”

“Can I what?”

“Get my memories back?”

Ryan hummed and looked at Gavin. Gavin, whose eyes were wide with hope, something sweet in that face that made Ryan remember how he’d looked a month ago, without the stubble and the uncertainty and it was so just _Gavin._ “I’d like to remember you,” the brit continued. “I’d like to remember him, too. If- If I had something good here, something that nice, I really don’t think I’d be happy forgetting it. I love Ray and he’s my best friend, but... I want to know what we were. What- what you say we are.”

“I can try,” Ryan finally told him, nodding. “I can absolutely try. And if not, will you still believe me? We won’t have to ever do anything you’re uncomfortable with- you might never want to be with me again, if you don’t get those memories back. Who knows.”

“We’ll just have to see, I s’pose.”

And Gavin was smiling at him, a real smile, and Ryan felt warmth bloom in his chest and coil around him, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

 

 

Running an entire city’s criminal happenings had been a job tough enough that Ryan was fully aware he would not have been able to do alone, at first. His initial team up with Corpirate had been short-lived and rather unsatisfying. The only good that had come of that was meeting the heroes and meeting Vav. From then on he’d been focused on the hero as much as he could- a bit of an obsession, perhaps, but after knowing it had been him that had helped destroy the city on his first try, there was an odd want of the hero at his side, doing whatever the King would ask of him.

The obsession only grew as he read the papers of the Corpirate’s defeat, how his former ‘boss’ had been left to drift slowly from the building. He wondered to himself if it were possible for Vav to have slowed someone’s entire body, including their organs. Could the hero kill without meaning too, he pondered. Not that it mattered. If he was to be at Ryan’s side, then he would learn to kill with no purpose other than the joy of it.

And that had ended up being what took away Ryan’s way of keeping contact with the outside world- too late, he mused cheerfully, when the officers told him he wasn’t going to have anyone come with any news for him. Already too late. He’d made enough contacts outside already- the cow was in the hole, the evidence in place, and he was very prepared for Mogar’s arrival. His plans for Vav would have to wait.

Not long, apparently.

The heroes approached him separately. X-Ray arrived first, childish idiot that he was, spilling every secret in the book and explaining every little flaw he’d ever had- spilling Vav’s secrets as well. Not all of them, not ones that truly mattered much. There were a few times X-Ray had managed to pause his word vomit when talking about his dear best friend, clearly choosing careful words, which was interesting. Despite his own insecurities, he was so careful about keeping a secret exactly as it was. While he was talking, Ryan had formulated a plan, knowing that if he was to succeed, he’d have to separate the two- so he began his ministrations, pulling just the right wires and strings so that X-Ray was perfectly unsure.

And, as he expected, Vav had arrived not too much later in the same day. He expected a similar repeat of the meeting with X-Ray, just this time with more annoying accent and fake words. What he got instead was someone who was actually smart enough to avoid his twisting questions for a while- it was a shame X-Ray had already revealed so much and it was easy to mix the words and create a new problem to focus on.  “Better without him,” he told the British hero. _Better with me. Better at my feet._

And then he pulled the stunt at City Hall, entirely pleased with himself and how it worked out. It was exactly what he expected, X-Ray gone, Vav his and the entire situation at his control. Now he just had to be trained, and molded perfectly into the puppet he needed to use. It was going to be perfect, the city would be his, and everything would go as he’d planned it. And he wouldn’t be over his head dealing with all the problems in this damned place because he’d have Mogar and Vav at his disposal to do as he bid them.

It all went to shit, of course.

Damned feelings. Damned Gavin, being so entirely adorable and so easy to care for and just so-

 _Gavin._

Simplest way to describe him.

And now, Ryan thought, bringing himself out of his own reverie, it seemed it had still worked out for the best. Running an empire would have been hard alone, much less without the arrival of his child- Kerry had been a bit of a surprise, but when the city had lost its heroes, Kerry had showed up on his father’s doorstep and stayed with him. While Gavin had been training, Ryan had been somewhat neglecting his son, but after X-Ray and Mogar had left for what they’d thought was the final time, both Ryan and Gavin turned their attentions towards Kerry and left the city to rot in havoc for a while.

With a shake of the head he readjusted his crown, smiling smugly at the way the weight felt. He exited his room, stepping out to the main hall, only to stop at the sight of Gavin and Kerry in front of the television. 

Gavin turned and sucked in a sharp breath- Ryan watched him carefully for any sign of recognition, but all he got was a curious head tilt and a groan from Kerry.

“Another meeting?” the child whined. With a heavy sigh, he went over and pressed a kiss to Kerry’s forehead and ruffled his hair.

“Sorry, kiddo, but you know my coworkers.”

“You don’t even like them! And aren’t they afraid of you after what happened last time with-”

The rest of the sentence was muffled as Ryan placed a hand over his son’s mouth, making Kerry’s eyebrows furrow in frustration before he looked over to Gavin and realization dawned. The brit remained oblivious. 

“A meeting?”

“Do you mind watching him?” Ryan asked, placing his hand on Gavin’s shoulder. “It won’t take long, just standard things. I’ll be back soon and working on something to get your memories back as quickly as possible.”

“Go ahead,” Gavin shrugged. “It’s fine. I’ll take care of him.”

“Yay!” Kerry cheered, throwing his arms around Gavin’s neck. Ryan laughed, going straight for the door. “Bye Dad!”

“Be good for Gavin, okay?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Gavin, try not to let him push you around.”

“Too late,” he heard the brit mumble, and he hummed pleasantly as the door closed behind him. But the happiness faded when he remembered his current situation, and like a switch he changed, snapping his fingers as he walked to the limo. 

“We’re going to be late,” he growled, and the men began to hasten towards their respective places. 

 

 

They arrived at the meeting a few minutes late, but the Mad King was nothing if not dramatic. With a flourish, he opened the doors to the board room- everyone turned to look, eyebrows raised, and he gave a smug smile in response. “Gentlemen. Ladies.”

“Your _highness,”_ someone muttered- he shot a warning glance to the offender, whose gaze instantly flicked towards the burn mark in the middle of the table. His grin widened ever so slightly as he made his way to the head of the table, and as he sat, discussions commenced. 

The stations of police that weren’t police and the stubborn everyday heroes that were going to end up dead, the mentions of various citizens that didn’t understand the complications of the situation. Boring things, really. Everyone was mostly lost in their own conversations and he was only there to oversee it all. The position of power was a nice touch, he reasoned with himself. If they ever upset you, you can kill one of them and no one can stop you. If anything they’ll be more scared of you.

A tapping on both his shoulders made him roll his eyes. “Hello, Risemonger.”

“Mad King. Old pal, old friend.”

The fake arms wrapped themselves around the back of his chair and down his arms. With a slight tense of his muscles they backed off, returning to the game show host, who grinned. “I couldn’t help but notice you’re awful alone this time around.” He leaned forward into the king’s personal space and hissed out, “Haven’t found your _precious_ Vav?”

The Mad King growled low, snatching out and grabbing Risemonger’s wrist in his hand. “You don’t have the right.”

“And you don’t have the guts.”

“Don’t I?”

Rise’s gaze flicked downwards and back up, swallowing slightly at the dangerous look in the king’s eyes. “Well. Alright, you do. But I’m actually serious here. If you’re this worried, you need to find him.”

“I did find him.”

“Oh? Then why isn’t he-”

“He lost his memory.”

“...yikes,” was the eloquent answer to that. Rise pulled at his hand and the king let go in favor of rubbing at his temples. “What are you trying to do about that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what caused him to lose them so I don’t know what to do.”

“The best thing you can do is wait it out,” the other villain started, and was given a shocked look. “I’m trying to help, _Ryan,_ jesus. You really care about him, so just wait it out. Make things familiar for him, maybe trigger a reaction. Something that’ll get his brain going again. Does he have a brain, though, because from what I heard-”

“Jon.”

“Yup, okay, time to stop talking now. But, seriously- try it. Make him comfortable. You’ll have Cinder back in no time, no problem. Maybe.”

 _“Jon.”_

* * *

 

Kerry had a lot of stories to tell about him, Gavin realized.

“You saved the city from the Corpirate, too! You and X-Ray worked hard together to defeat him. He had the whole city under his mind control except for you two! I don’t know why it didn’t work on you guys, I guess you’re just really strong headed and smart to let yourself be controlled. And then you both had a daring battle with the bad guy on the rooftops and you _blasted_ him! And then he started like, drifting away in slow motion- oh, did I tell you your gloves did that?”

“Yes,” Gavin laughed, bouncing Kerry on his knee. “You certainly told me.”

“What about the time I saved you from a monster?”

“And you _made_ that monster?”

“Details.”

Kerry squealed with laughter as Gavin squeezed his arms around him playfully. He smiled at Kerry, warmth filling his chest, a protective sort of instinct. His smile faded as he remembered Ray, though. The child sensed it and turned, squinting a bit before reaching a hand up to Gavin’s nose and quietly saying, “Boop.”

Gavin gave a half-hearted laugh, but Kerry frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“X-Ray and I. How did we separate, why- why aren’t we friends?”

“Dad... kinda set that up. He really wanted your help with something but he knew he couldn’t do it if you were a good guy working with X-Ray. So he did this huge thing with lava and a machine and he took X-Ray and your girl crush reporter lady named Ash and he held them up and told you you had to choose.”

“And I chose Ash, didn’t I?”

Kerry shrugged slightly and settled in closer to Gavin’s chest. “Yeah. I think you were right to chose her, though. I mean, friendship is important, sure. But you were a hero and you made a sacrifice for a citizen. Like a hero is supposed to.”

Gavin’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean by I _was-”_

“Kerry, I thought I told you your bedtime was 8:30 on school nights?”

The two of them turned and found Ryan standing there, still dressed from his meeting, arms crossed with a knowing smile. Kerry sheepishly smiled back before jumping off the back of the couch and running to his dad. Ryan knelt down and gave his son a hug and a kiss to the forehead. Kerry shouted a quick “g’night, dad!” before sprinting towards the hall- he gave it second thought and turned back, dashing to Gavin quickly and throwing his arms around him. “G’night, Papa,” he whispered. “I hope you feel better soon.”

And then he was gone, leaving Gavin and Ryan alone in the living room. Gavin gave the older man a somewhat sheepish smile which Ryan returned, but with more warmth. “I’m sorry I had to leave you with him,” he said as he began to loosen his tie. “I usually wouldn’t have, under the circumstances, but the meeting was rather mandatory, considering I’m supposed to be in charge of the entire syndicate.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Gavin hummed. “He’s a nice kid. Idolized me somewhat, by the sounds of it. I didn’t sound very much like a bloody good idol though.”

“Well, he wanted very much to be like you. He wants to be a hero and you and your friend were the first real heroes he’d ever met. I think, for everything you did, you still kept up the ideals he expected. And you may not have been the best hero, but I can assure you, you made for a very decent idol.”

Gavin flushed, glancing away from Ryan. The older man smiled gently and held out a hand to the lad, who only stared. “Can I show you something?”

“...Sure,” Gavin replied and took the offered hand, letting Ryan pull him up from the couch and down the hall. His hands were warm, and a bit calloused, something comforting in the way they lightly held on to Gavin, and the younger man felt something fall into place the longer he kept hold. He couldn’t keep himself from smiling brightly and squeezing the other’s hand lightly. Ryan turned to him and smiled in return.

“It’s not much,” the king told him. “But I’m hoping, for now, it might help.”

He pulled him into the bedroom once more, letting go of his hand- Gavin instantly missed the warmth- in favor of opening the top drawer and pulling out a couple of photos.

“You were insistent,” Ryan laughed, handing them to Gavin.

The brit sat down on the edge of the bed, switching between each photo with a feeling of longing settling in his chest. All of them were incredibly domestic, pictures of Kerry and Ryan in various places around the house and happily enjoying themselves- piggyback rides and shared movies on the couch, kitchen disasters and birthday candles. There was love radiating from each photo that made Gavin’s heart clench in a way he wished he could place. And then he came to the last photo.

It was him, and Ryan, on a balcony overlooking a burning city- not something considered romantic, he guessed, but it still made him smile fondly.

“Kerry took that,” the other said, sitting next to him. “He was standing on a chair and I heard the shutter go off- I don’t know if you did or not. He was supposed to be asleep, but I guess I’m not complaining.”

Gavin laughed, looking back down at the photo. “I wish I could remember,” he finally mumbled. “I know I’ve said it before, but I really do want to. We seemed... happy.”

“I’d like to think we were,” Ryan said, before standing and stretching. “Did you have dinner?”

Gavin’s sheepish glance was answer enough. With a chuckle, Ryan reached out with his hand again and tugged him up, brushing his finger over his knuckles briefly before intertwining their fingers together. “I’ll make you something.”

He set down the photos on the nightstand at the end of the bed before letting Ryan pull him out of the room and towards the kitchen. He couldn’t deny that he was hungry, having momentarily forgotten to cook himself food in the whirlwind that was Kerry, and he was glad Ryan knew him well enough to realize that. He sat down at the island, smiling at Ryan when the older man turned.

“We’ll get your memories back,” Ryan told him. “I’m doing everything in my power to figure it out. Until then, you’ll just have to stay with me and wait.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Gavin hummed, and relished in the smile Ryan gave him.

 

The course of the next week was structured in a similar way.

When Ryan went out to work, Gavin became the designated babysitter for Kerry before and after school had started, taking him out for lunch on many days, and entertaining him in the few hours before Ryan would come home. Kerry continued to tell him stories about his many adventures as Vav- in turn, he’d requested Gavin re-read the Harry Potter series to him. “You do the voices really good!” was the explanation he’d been given.

Ryan insisted he’d been working on something to help with Gavin’s memory, which the younger didn’t doubt at all- but it left time to get to know each other all over again. When Kerry was tucked in for the night, the two would sit at the table and talk for a while, Gavin cradling a cup of tea while Ryan picked at a cold plate of leftovers.

“So what happened?” Gavin finally mustered the courage to ask one night. Ryan’s attention flicked up from the plate, curious and confused, and Gavin huffed a small breath. “To me. X-Ray and I, I s’pose. Kerry told me, but I want to hear it from you. Like, the why. But also, y’know. How did we bloody-”

In lack of the words he wanted to use, he chose to flail his arms around, earning himself a laugh from Ryan. It quickly died down though, Ryan’s bright eyes dimming ever so slightly. “Please don’t hate me for this,” he whispered, and Gavin’s face scrunched in his own confusion.

“Admittedly, I was the one who pushed you two to break apart. You had something good going and... I didn’t like it. It was ruining what I wanted. What Kerry told you was true. The trick, the choice. I set all of it up, made your friend insecure. I wanted to- Gavin, I wanted to _use_ you, to help me get further. It was selfish of me. Then again, I’m not a very selfless man. You were going to be so powerful and I would barely have to lift a _finger._ That’s why I did it, at first.”

There was a heavy silence, at first, as Gavin processed the answer and nodded slowly. “What changed?”

Ryan’s lips quirked upwards. “Sentiment. Ruling with you at my disposal became ruling with you by my side.”

Gavin’s face flushed and he hummed, pleased. “Another quick question?”

“Of course.”

“You said what we had. Ray was quick to make sure I was alright when I woke up, from what I can remember, but he was so nervous. What happened to me to make it... be like that?”

“I’m afraid that would have been me as well. We made some... adjustments to your old suit, your old lifestyle. You were the one who suggested the new name, though. And you, ah- you may have shot him with fire and given him a third degree burn on his chest.”

“With _fire_? I burned him?”

Gavin’s hands were trembling slightly and Ryan didn’t hesitate in placing his own over them in an attempt to soothe him. “Gavin, Gavin, it’s okay.”

“No- it’s- _god,_ it makes sense why he’d be so-”

He took a shuddering breath and pulled his hands away to rub at his face. “I guess I hadn’t told you,” he finally muttered. “You, of all people, deserve to know. Just. Not in the kitchen,” Gavin laughed.

“Alright. To the couch then?”

With a nod, Gavin stood and Ryan did as well, taking the teacup from the countertop and follow Gavin into the living room. The two of them settled down on the couch as Ryan set the tea down on the coffee table. There was a long silence before Gavin leaned back and gave a heavy sigh. Ryan rubbed his shoulder lightly in reassurance, and Gavin gave a small smile.

“When Ray and I were younger, like, 17, stupid teenagers or whatever. I got really mad at these kids who kept stealing from the local grocer. He was a good guy, took care of us every once in awhile, gave us free sweets and the occasional lunch. Mostly when Ray’s mom wasn’t awake. But these kids kept taking from him and being really rude and I got so _pissed._ They didn’t have the right to do that, y’know? So this one night I pretty much lost my control and I knew where they lived. Took a can of gas and a lighter and. Ah. Went to town. There was a lot of tragedy. It got out of control and nearly burned the entire street down before it was finally put out. They never traced it back to me, either. Ray and I moved the next week. We ‘forgot’ about it. But people... people almost died.”

He was grasping at nothing, shaking slightly. Ryan took his hands again, giving him a gentle squeeze. “And that threw you off?”

“It did something,” Gavin muttered. “It was bloody terrifying. I didn’t want anyone to die, I just didn’t really think of the consequences. And Ray kept trying to tell me it wasn’t my fault and how I didn’t mean it but-”

“You did.”

Gavin gave Ryan a weak smile. “Yeah, I did. I think what scared me the most is that it could have hurt Ray. He lived on that street. He was a house away from getting killed by me. That’s what messed with me the most. I guess I just... lumped them all together, something like that.”

“I understand,” was all Ryan said, reaching over and pulling Gavin into a tight hug. “It’s okay.”

There was a pang of longing in Gavin’s chest and he curled in tighter. This felt right. This felt like home, and he was safe, and he was happy. It didn’t hurt as much when he thought about it anymore.

“Thank you, Ryan.”

“I’ve got you,” he heard. “I’ve got you.”

* * *

When Ray felt the hand on his back he had to keep himself from jumping.

Mogar sat down next to him, continuously rubbing his back lightly and giving Ray something steady to settle onto. They sat in silence for a while as Ray leaned into Mogar, staring into the distance. 

“I fucked this up,” he finally said after a while.

“Hmm?”

“I just wanted Gavin back, man, I just wanted my best friend back.”

“This wasn’t the way,” Mogar said. “You know that.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Mogar pressed a kiss to Ray’s head and the hero looked back up, giving the warrior a quick kiss on the lips before dropping his head back down to his shoulder. “What is the way then, Mogar. Fuck. Do you have like, an actual name or am I going to be calling you that forever?”

“My father called me Michael before he disappeared.”

“Your dad was human, right?”

“No, he was a bear.”

“How are you even alive?”

“My mother took care of me.”

“Your mom- never mind,” Ray huffed. “Michael it is then. It’s a nice name.”

Michael smiled. “It will take some getting used to.”

“Eh, it takes a while to get used to _you_ in every aspect.”

“It takes time to get used to things,” Michael agreed, and Ray sensed an underlying meaning behind the words. He looked up in confusion. “Perhaps we need to give upon getting Gavin back.”

“No! What? _No!_ I’m not just leaving him, not when he’s in trouble-”

“Ray, do you really think he’s in trouble?” There was no response. “The way he spoke of the Mad King before. He was so certain of his standing with him, of how they were in their partnership. It didn’t seem as if he was being controlled, or if he had been scared into saying it.”

“Ever heard of stockholm syndrome?”

“Ray.”

The hero looked away stubbornly, and Michael sighed, rubbing his shoulder. “People- people change. I changed. And I think we need to accept that Gavin has changed as well. It’s easy to blame other things. It’s especially easy to blame the Mad King for this. He is persuasive, yes, and many have fallen prey to that, including me and you. But the difference with Gavin was that when he spoke of the king, he seemed- happy. Genuinely so. We need to face facts, Ray. He may be better off there.”

Ray took a deep breath and took Michael’s hand, squeezing it gently. He didn’t say anything else, and the warrior seemed satisfied. 

Unbeknownst to him, however, Ray was still upset. _There has to be a way_ , he thought to himself. _We’re best friends, there’s got to be a way_.

* * *

 

Gavin had been wearing the same clothes for at least two weeks now- that damned suit, that annoying blue, and although Ryan didn’t mind blue on Gavin, it was still so fucking annoying to see him wearing something that bugged the both of them.

“I don’t have anything else,” Gavin continued to tell him. 

“That’s not an excuse!”

“Well you _obviously_ don’t have any of my stuff here.”

And that was true. Ryan was guilty of not really keeping Gavin’s clothing around, but it hadn’t been needed. If he hadn’t been wearing the outfit they’d designed for Cinder, Gavin wouldn’t leave the house, and instead lounged in Ryan’s shirts and an old pair of sweatpants. Now, when actual clothing was needed, neither one of them could go shopping for it- Ryan was supposed to be a criminal overlord, and Gavin was technically still ‘dead.’ 

“Just... wear this,” Ryan told him one morning, throwing something onto the bed before quickly disappearing and going to work for the day. Embarrassment bubbled in his chest the whole day. And regret. Lots of that. There was a chance Gavin didn’t hear him, or see it, or just didn’t change. He hoped.

When he came home, however, he noticed that that hadn’t been the case. Gavin was at the counter, working on brownie batter with Kerry. And he was, in fact, wearing the shirt Ryan had dumped on his bed before he left. Seeing the fabric hang loosely over Gavin’s frame brought back warm memories and Ryan had to stop himself from sneaking up behind the lad and wrapping his arms around him.

Instead, he cleared his throat and Kerry jumped off the footstool, rushing over and enveloping him in a hug. Gavin began tugging on the edge of the shirt as if it would magically get longer and cover more, even though he was wearing a pair of Ryan’s sleep pants underneath. Ryan watched him with a smirk, but pointedly looked away when Gavin gave him a half-hearted glare and made a threatening gesture with the batter-covered spoon.

“Comfortable?” Ryan joked, and Gavin rolled his eyes.

“‘S better than bloody spandex, I’ll tell you that.”

Kerry giggled and Gavin pointed at him with the spon. “We aren’t done here, you promised you’d help me!”

“Can I lick the spoon?”

“No,” Ryan interjected. “I don’t want you getting poisoned.”

“Oh, I’d better _test_ it then,” Gavin hummed, and slowly began moving the spoon towards his open mouth. Kerry squealed “Gavin, no!” and dashed back towards the brit, stretching on his toes for the spoon. Gavin was laughing too hard to actually do anything but hold it just out of reach.

“I’ll give it to you,” he stage-whispered. “But don’t tell your dad.”

They both looked to Ryan, who began to busy himself by looking at the television, which was muted and playing Toy Story 3. Kerry grabbed the spoon and quickly licked the batter off of it before dumping it in the sink and running down the hall. The two men laughed as he went, and Ryan turned, only to be caught staring at Gavin, whose smile was almost blinding. Ryan’s chest filled with warmth again for a brief moment as Gavin turned.

“Sorry about not having any clothing for you, though.”

“Nah, this is fine. Very roomy. This is your shirt, yeah?”

“No one else it fits.”

“Fits me pretty well.”

“You have no idea,” Ryan mumbled fondly- if Gavin heard, he made no sign of it, instead tugging again at the hem of the shirt and looking down at the oven. 

“Do you think-”

“Oh, god.”

“-that if I turned up the heat, it would lessen the time? Like, say instead of 350, I put it to-”

“No, no, no, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t burn my house down.”

Gavin snickered and pushed away from the counter, brushing past Ryan. He watched him go with a fond smile- things were already too familiar to try to push it away. Maybe it was all wishful thinking, however.

 

The days continued, and more often than not, Ryan actually found himself falling back into every old habit and he had to force himself not to. As he’d predicted he would, he ended up hugging Gavin from behind way too often- the first time it happened, Gavin had tensed in his arms, and Ryan’s only thoughts were _shit, shit, shit_ , but then Gavin had chuckled and relaxed into it, tapping his nose with a spoon.

Every morning, too, Gavin would take care of an overly groggy Kerry, throwing together an outfit for his day and setting up breakfast for him, while Ryan woke up and got himself ready for work. The older man would stumble around his room for a while in search of his tie while Gavin and Kerry picked at their plates, both of them equally tired. At one point, during this routine, Gavin had been a little more tired but at the same time very alert- sort of panicky and flighty, hovering over Kerry the entire morning while Ryan searched for his tie.

“Ryan!” Gavin finally snapped, speeding towards a drawer and pulling it open. He grabbed the tie and held it out to Ryan, who gave him a relieved smile and reached out for it.

“Can you get a couple guards for me?”

“Sure thing, Gav.”

In a few minutes two guards were at the door, and Gavin motioned for them to follow him- they glanced at one another, aware of the current _predicament,_ but followed anyways. Ryan was busy with his bowtie but he didn’t miss the way the guards came out of the hall a little paled, and how they went to Kerry and whispered to him in hushed tones. The child seemed to cheer up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder and calling out a goodbye before skipping out the door, the two men following closely behind him. They paused in the doorway for a moment, glancing to something behind Ryan. He turned and saw Gavin’s hard stare that lasted only a second before the door shut and the guards were gone, and then Gavin noticed him looking.

“Sorry,” Gavin mumbled, and Ryan shook his head.

“It’s alright. Just confused, that’s all. Usually Kerry is able to walk on his own.”

“I know, I know. It’s just...” The brit looked down at his feet and rubbed at his face. “I had a dream last night and it gave me a terrible bloody feeling. I didn’t want to take chances.”

Gavin was shaking slightly, Ryan realized, so he took a few steps forward and took the younger man’s hands in his own. “Would you like me to stay?”

The relieved smile Gavin gave was simultaneously heartwarming and heart stopping and it made Ryan want nothing more than to pull Gavin close and press kisses to everywhere he could reach. Instead, though, he settled on squeezing Gavin’s hands lightly before dropping them. “Let me call into the labs. They can handle one day without me. They’ve done it before,” he muttered at the end, a little twinge of bitterness towards the time he’d spent in jail.

 _A breakthrough on a personal project,_ was the excuse he gave them. Not entirely a lie.

He changed into pajamas and went to the living room to find Gavin wrapped in a few blankets on the couch. He gave Ryan a wide smile when he came up, curling in a little more and nudging the remote over with his foot. Ryan rolled his eyes and sat down, taking the remote and shuddering when Gavin’s foot touched his hand.

“You’re freezing.”

“‘S what the blankets are for, innit?”

“Mm. Do you have a preference as to what we watch?”

“Action movies are always a good choice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it’s fun to see how crap they did when they filmed it.”

Ryan laughed and turned back to the television, missing the way Gavin looked at him. There was a soft kind of awe in it, as well as a touch of sadness. Part of him seemed to miss Ryan but another part of him didn’t even realize it- because why was he missing him? What was the point in missing someone you didn’t really know?

The next few hours were filled with a mess of cliched action films, Gavin’s commentary overlapping many of the scenes with his critique on camera angles. In some, Ryan pitched in and added criticism on various actors and sent Gavin into giggles. After a while, the two lapsed into silence as they played the third movie- something with Liam Neeson, which Ryan insisted would be good.

“Good for _what?”_

“Good for criticism.”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll give you that.”

But at a certain point in the movie, a character was kidnapped from their room and Ryan noticed immediately how Gavin tensed and curling in on himself, falling uncharacteristically quiet. Ryan suddenly realized his mistake and instantly turned off the movie, reaching over to Gavin and taking his hands in his. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize, I didn’t-”

“You didn’t know,” Gavin laughed weakly. “Couldn’t have.”

Ryan reached out and Gavin fell into his arms shaking, both of them going silent as Ryan rubbed the lad’s back in comfort. Gavin nuzzled against him, relishing in the warmth, and Ryan hummed, brushing his fingers through Gavin’s hair.

“It was- I don’t know how it happened, really,” Gavin whispered, so quiet Ryan almost couldn’t hear him. “But I was just having this dream and it was fine, until everything went dark. And I kept having this feeling of being followed. I was walking in this darkness, or whatever, and it just kept going and going and then someone grabbed me. There were things all over the damn place, just grabbing at me and pulling and it was _terrifying,_ oh god-”

“Shh, I understand, it’s okay.”

They stayed cuddled together for a while until Ryan felt Gavin’s breath evening out and his form relax against him. He chuckled and picked the sleeping figure up in his arms, along with the blanket that was wrapped around him, and carried him to the bedroom, placing him down and tucking him in before sitting down next to him. He continued brushing his fingers through Gavin’s hair, watching him rest.

 _I guess it is possible to fall in love again_ , he thought to himself, smiling before standing up and going to move to the guest room.

Gavin, however, had other plans.  Ryan heard an angered grumble and turned to see Gavin looking up at him with tired, barely open eyes, patting the empty space in the bed beside him expectantly. Ryan huffed with a smile and flicked off the light, sliding into bed next to Gavin, who curled up against his side.

“Kerry still isn’t home,” Ryan mumbled, and Gavin huffed.

“He has the guards.”

“Yes, about them, can you not threaten them, they’re some of my best.”

“The twins can take care of themselves.”

Ryan was too tired to acknowledge the fact that Gavin miraculously knew that the guards were, in fact, twins. “And Kerry, evidently.”

“Can we sleep yet?”

* * *

 

 _Bollocks,_ was Gavin’s first thought when he woke up again.

He was curled up in an empty bed, the smell of pancakes already filling the air, and he knew very well that this certainly was not the guest room. He sat up, thinking vaguely of the events from the day before. “Shit,” he muttered. “Effin’ dammit.”

He already felt burdening enough, and then he’d gone and done that? Ryan hadn’t complained, and Gavin knew he wouldn’t, either- the man had been nothing but kind and patient with him, taking care of him for this long, and Gavin barely did anything in return.   
When he went into the kitchen it was with a false smile and a type of dread in his chest- Kerry was chattering cheerfully and Ryan was at the stovetop, waiting on the last of the batter to cook. He flashed Gavin a genuine smile and Gavin’s stomach twisted in discomfort. 

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

“G’morning!” Gavin replied with a false cheer, passing by Kerry and ruffling his hair before sitting down. “So you’re cooking breakfast this morning? How thoughtful.”

“You were asleep,” Ryan laughed. “Someone had to.”

Another gut wrenching guilt to pile on to everything else, but Gavin only laughed along as if nothing was wrong. “Yeah, well. What’ve you got planned for today?”

“Not a lot. Some simple at-home lab work, spending time with Kerry. Did you have something in mind?”

Gavin shook his head, taking the plate from Ryan’s hands and carefully setting it down in front of him. “No, not really. I might stay home and watch the shows I’ve missed out on.”

Ryan laughed. Gavin smiled back, his heart clenching at the sound. Ryan was incredible, and part of Gavin could understand why he would fall in love with the man. He was kind and smart and funny and sweet. And attractive, nice bonus. Gavin would have fallen head over heels for him. 

Oh, _wait._

And it was easy to pass it off as just a crush, as a misdirected appreciation for the older man’s care, but Gavin knew that it was a lot more than that. Would turn into a lot more than that. God, he was such a problem, wasn’t he? He’d done basically nothing but be upset and moody the entire time. So really, what was the point of this anymore- and why hadn’t he left?

Kerry, probably.

For now, though, he faked a smile and picked at the pancakes, listening to Kerry plan out their day. He felt Ryan’s gaze linger on him for a bit, but did nothing to acknowledge it.

 _I don’t want to be trouble,_ he thought to himself. _I don’t want to be a problem_.

 

So Gavin began to pull away.

He excused himself from the table earlier, tried to stay quiet, hid away in his room and only came out in the middle of the day when he was sure he was alone. He overheard Kerry talking about it with Ryan. Gavin felt bad for hurting Kerry- part of him wanted to go back out into the living room just to apologize, but Ryan gave an answer that seemed to satisfy the young child.

“He might be trying to remember us in a different way, Kerry, let’s leave him be for the moment.”

And that brought another idea to Gavin’s mind. He put all his focus into remembering, simply by going off stories Kerry had told him, or the pictures on the wall. If he remembered it wouldn’t be a problem. If he remembered, he wouldn’t have to feel bad about himself, and maybe he could finally be okay with how he felt about Ryan. This was stupid.

“You’re dumb,” he huffed to himself one night, dropping the photo he was holding down onto the nightstand. The one of them on the balcony. “This’ll never work.”  
His gaze flicked to the doorway when light began to filter through the bottom crack. He repositioned himself on the bed when the door handle turned and closed his eyes, keeping his breath even and waiting for the person (probably Ryan) to leave. What he got instead was the feeling of the bed dipping down behind him and someone’s (definitely Ryan’s) fingers gently running through his hair. “Try not to stay away too long, Gavin,” Ryan murmured. “I know you’re trying, but darling, we miss you. I get what you’re doing, and I know you’re trying hard.” There was a heavy sigh as the fingers left his hair. “I’d love you all the same, though.”

Gavin waited until the door closed and the light in the hall flickered off before he sat up and stared at the back of the door with a slight grimace. Of course he managed to mess this up even more. He glanced back at the photo on the nightstand, picking it up and turning it in his hands to look at the date. _July_ , he thought. _Fucking- this has gone on long enough, hasn’t it?_

Time to change tactics.

 

After a day or two of coming back out of the room, with soft apologies (“No, Kerry, it didn’t work. Sorry kiddo.”), Gavin approached Ryan on the couch. He slumped down next to the other, resting his head on his shoulder, and Ryan’s arm instantly wrapped around his shoulder. Briefly, Gavin wondered how many times they’d done this, considering how perfect this felt to him. There was silence for a while as Gavin began to think on what he was doing- but over thinking had never left him with a good outcome, and with a giddy buzz of something in his system he let his hand snake down to Ryan’s thigh. Ryan hummed in response, so Gavin proceeded to move his hand further upwards. Ryan’s breath caught and he turned to look at Gavin with wide eyes. But Gavin, in fear that his confidence would drain, jumped forward and kissed him. Ryan paused for a second before bringing his hand to the back of Gavin’s neck and pulling him even closer to deepen the kiss. Gavin shifted himself to sit on Ryan’s lap, pushing his hand up under Ryan’s shirt while the other tangled itself in Ryan’s hair.

“Gavin,” Ryan managed when the two finally broke apart, and bit back a groan as Gavin grinded downwards. “Gavin, wait, listen-”

“‘M listening,” was the muffled response as the younger nuzzled into Ryan’s neck.

“Gavin, are you _sure-_ ah, _Gavin-”_

“Yes, I’m sure, now shut up and-”

 _“Gavin,”_ and it was said was such finality that Gavin pulled back to look away. “Do you want this?”

“...I know you do.”

Ryan’s breath caught again for an entirely different reason as Gavin pulled his hands away to rub at his face. “Oh, Gavin, no-”

“I thought this would help,” Gavin murmured, shaking slightly. “I really did. I’ve tried basically everything I can think of, I’ve wasted forever on staring at a picture, but it just doesn’t register, it never makes sense. I just want to _remember_ you. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to mess anything up but it feels like I am- every day that goes by with that hopeful glance from you and Kerry, that I know you again, that I remember-”

Ryan reached up gently to brush at Gavin’s cheek, and the lad let out a weak chuckle. Tears were falling freely now. “I just want to remember you. I want to know who you are so badly, I want to remember this, remember us, because it hurts so much being in love with someone you don’t even know.”

Ryan laughed quietly, something disbelieving in it as he continued to wipe at Gavin’s tears. “I love you too, Gavin, in every way. And you know what? I don’t care if you never remember me. We’ll just have to relearn everything, won’t we?”

Gavin laughed, somewhat brokenly, and reached over to hug Ryan around the neck. “I love you,” he whispered, grip tightening. “I love you a lot, god, I love you so much.”

“Gavin,” Ryan hummed, rocking the both of them back and forth. “Gavin, Gavin, Gavin.”

They moved to the bedroom if only to sleep, both taking off their shirts. The night was spent exchanging soft secrets and more accurate versions of stories that Kerry had told before. Gavin found himself tracing Ryan’s scars and listening to Ryan quietly explain the origins of each one. He let Ryan find a few on his back and hummed at the feeling- began to shake again when he recognized something that he didn’t quite understand. “I haven’t cried in years,” he laughed through his tears, and Ryan laughed along. 

“I know.”

* * *

 

When he woke up, Ryan could only think about how perfect this was.

Even without Gavin’s memory, it’d managed to work out- _how dumb of us_ , Ryan thought to himself, pressing a kiss to the top of Gavin’s head. _Took memory loss to get the words out._

Kerry was moving around out in the living room, he could hear, and with a glance to the clock he realized they’d slept in a little late. A lot late. But Gavin was tucked so carefully in his arms and he didn’t want to move, so he resigned himself to the fact that he would not be going to work today. Someone would cover for him.

A few minutes passed before the door in the living room shut and Gavin moved slightly, turning to face him with a sleepy smile that faded into something like hopeful confusion.

“Did you mean it last night?”

Ryan smiled and brushed Gavin’s hair away. “Of course I did.”

Gavin’s smile returned, bright and brilliant and Ryan laughed, taking his arms away and pressing another kiss to Gavin’s head. “C’mon. Grab a shirt, let’s go have some breakfast.”

The lad pulled at Ryan’s arm as he pushed himself up and Ryan fell back down a little, only for Gavin to press their lips together before slipping out of the bed giggling and dashing into the hall shirtless. Ryan rolled his eyes as he sat up again, pushing off the bed and following after Gavin into the kitchen.

“Pancakes?”

“Eggs, please.”

“Alrighty then.”

As Ryan began to fry the eggs he didn’t notice Gavin wander around the house a bit, taking longer looks at photos and trinkets around the place. He disappeared back into the bedroom for a bit longer than he’d been anywhere else, and Ryan placed the plates down before going down the hall to find him. He was at the nightstand, Ryan’s crown in his fingertips, inspecting it carefully, but when the door creaked open he jumped slightly and sheepishly grinned. “Just looking.”

Without saying anything, Ryan held his hand out. Gavin placed the crown gently in the open palm, but Ryan held out his free hand next, and Gavin got the picture and took it in his own. He lead Gavin to the closet mirror and placed them both in front of it, pressing a kiss to Gavin’s shoulder that made the younger man giggle. “I want you to listen to me and _believe_ me when I say this, Gavin.” He received a nod in return and continued. “Your happiness comes first. I told you that last night and I’ll tell you it again. I want _you_ to be happy. If you’re happy without your memories back, then we don’t have to get them. But if it’s your memories you want back, then I’ll do everything in my power to help you get them back.”

Gavin smiled and Ryan lifted the crown to the younger man’s head, placing it carefully down before grabbing Gavin’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I’d do anything for you.”

He heard a soft gasp before Gavin turned and hugged him tight, grip getting stronger every few seconds and he could have sworn he felt more tears. “Gav, baby, don’t cry, come on.”

“Ryan,” he heard, chanted like a mantra. “Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.”

“Gav?” he asked, rubbing Gavin’s back. For a while they just stood there, Gavin’s grip as tight as possible on Ryan until it finally loosened and he gave a deep sigh.

“I have an idea,” Gavin finally said, and the tone of his voice made Ryan freeze a little as Gavin pulled back and bumped foreheads with him. “But first let’s finish what I started last night?”

Ryan grinned. _“There_ you are.”

Gavin laughed and pushed Ryan backwards onto the bed, kicking his pants off and straddling the older man, kissing him with desperation. “Don’t let that happen again, please. I love falling in love with you twice but the hassel’s not really worth it.”

Ryan grunted, pulling Gavin back down, and mumbled, “Knew I should’ve tried the crown first.”

Gavin just laughed and kissed him again.

* * *

 

“So Vav isn’t dead?”

“What makes you say that?”

“There were witness reports of two men exiting the sewer with someone in the Vav suit. Said it looked like him too.”

Ray huffed and rubbed at his face before facing the reporter, who was glaring at him. “No. Vav isn’t dead. I already told you that.”

“And then you left us and never came back. We didn’t really believe you.”

“‘Never?’ I’m standing _right_ here.”

“You never did like reporters much.”

Ray tensed and turned, while the crowd that had gathered as gasped and began to cheer. Gavin grinned at Ray and for a second it was like old times again- the screaming of their names, the crush of being in front of so many people, just _them-_ and then Michael’s hand tightened on his shoulder and pulled him back just a bit, and Gavin’s grin seemed to turn just a tiny bit more sinister.

He held up a hand and the crowd fell silent, excited whispers and murmurs going back and forth between the onlooking civilians who were excited to see their british hero once more. “‘S been awhile,” he said, and his voice was quiet but it still carried over them. “Well. Since you’ve seen Vav. Not since you seen me, I suppose.”

“Vav,” Ray said, even quieter and away from the mic. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what, X-Ray? Reveal the _truth?_ You had a lot of problems dealing with that didn’t you. Don’t like reporters, don’t like the truth. Don’t like negative attention,” Gavin shrugged. “You just don’t like things much. Not really a glass half full kind of guy.”

“Never was,” Ray laughed, something weak in it. “You knew that.”

“Yeah, guess I did,” Gavin hummed. His gaze darkened in a second. “But you didn’t want me to remember.”

The crowd was making noises of confusion now, and Gavin turned back to them with another grin. “Oh, you didn’t know? My dear old ex-partner tried to wipe my memory. Guess I offended him somehow. Went a little too far, though, I’m guessing. You wanted me to forget saving her.”

“I wanted you to forget our fight, I wanted you to-”

“ _X-Ray_!” Hilda shouted, sprinting around the crowd to climb the stairs, Rusty not far behind her. Gavin rolled his eyes and threw his hand out behind him. People started screaming when a wall of fire sprouted in their path and cut the two off from the heroes- Gavin gave Hilda a small smirk before turning back to Ray. 

“No, you wanted me to forget _him,”_ he hummed, and jerked his chin upwards. Ray and Michael glanced behind them to see the Mad King, surrounded by multiple guards, who were all pointing guns towards them. The King tilted his head in greeting with a smirk and Michael growled before Gavin began to speak again.

“And I guess the secret’s out,” he laughed. A few more fires kept the crowd in their place and Gavin began to walk forwards, slowly, towards X-Ray and Mogar. The cape went first, the edges catching in flames and burning upwards along the darker blue fabric, but the sleeves, boots, and pants were quick to follow, everything fading away to ash and leaving Gavin in his _other_ costume-

“Cinder,” someone in the crowd whispered. “Vav is Cinder.”

He turned his head and gave a winning smile before his attention went back to X-Ray. “Think of this as my resignation letter, love, because you obviously didn’t get it the first time- I’m _not_ the hero anymore. I’m not going to be the hero anymore. So you can come to terms with it and leave- all of you,” he cast a glance back to Hilda and Rusty, who glared back. “Or you can stay, fight, and lose. Again. Get locked up for a while. Forever.”

Ray clenched his fists, and felt Michael’s hand leave his shoulder to reach for his sword. He almost went to press at his glasses without a second thought, almost went to throw himself into danger because this wasn’t his friend, this couldn’t be so what would be the problem if Ray hurt him?

Part of him, though, knew this was Gavin, deep down it was still an old friend, and that part of him couldn’t bring himself to fight without knowing, “Why?”

Gavin’s smile dropped and he seemed genuinely confused by the question, so Ray let his head drop to the ground and closed his eyes. “Why him? Is it stockholm, is it brainwashing, I don’t- I don’t _get it_. You always end up running back to him.”

“Why do you stay with Mogar?” Ray looked back up, wide eyed and confused, but it was a real question and Gavin stared back, unwavering. 

“Because...”

“Yeah,” Gavin smiled, and there was a softness and honestly there that made Ray laugh. His voice lowered, and the flames surrounding the crowd dropped- they scurried away, and Gavin watched them go. “Yeah, it’s because of that. I do love him, Ray, and you helped me figure out how to say that, even when you really didn’t want to. I’d thank you, but...”

“No, it’s- I get it.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I do. I guess- I guess I just didn’t want to believe it.”

“Because you’re a stubborn bitch?”

“Well, that,” he huffed, exaggerating the eye roll, and they both laughed. “And I- I wanted my friend back, Gav. I miss _us,_ man, I miss your squeaky laugh and your shitty words and your terrible sense of music. I miss game night-”

“What is game night?” Gavin said softly with a grin and Ray shook his head.

“You’re a piece of shit.”

“I know you miss it, Ray. And I’ll be honest, I miss it too. I do. But with us like this?” He gestured around them and Ray nodded slowly. “It’ll never work like it used to. Maybe one day, if you come back as Ray. No cape, no gloves. Just Ray. But for now...”

Gavin cast his glance sideways and shook his head. “Just go, Ray, please. I don’t want to fight you.”

Michael growled behind him, but looked back, and Ray met his gaze. What do you want to do?

So Ray took his hand and put it on Michael’s arms, gently lowering his sword and shook his head. “Let’s go.”

Gavin stepped to the side and waved his arm again- the fire dropped and Michael instantly walked towards Rusty and Hilda, who took a step back down the stairs. Ray, however, took his time, walking slowly away- he paused in front of Gavin and held out his hand. “See you later?”

Gavin smiled, sad but not false, and took Ray’s hand, tugging him forward into a hug. “Yeah, see you later.”

Ray hugged him tighter for a brief second before muttering, “This is gay.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Shut the hell up.”

Ray patted his back and pulled away, taking the steps two at a time before taking Michael’s offered arm and tugging. 

Gavin watched them go, crossing his arms and smiling fondly. He heard the guns click behind him as the guards were put at ease and felt Ryan come up behind him, wrap his arms around his waist, press a kiss to the back of his head. Ray turned back for a second, paused, held a hand up in goodbye, and Gavin raised his own hand in response, and then the hero turned back and continued to walk away. Ryan turned Gavin back to the view of the city and hummed in his ear.

“Are you happy, Gav?”

Gavin smiled and rested his head back against Ryan’s shoulder. This time he was certain X-Ray wouldn’t come back- Ray, however, was always welcome. His thoughts went to Kerry, who was getting out of school soon- how happy his son would be. He sighed and nodded against Ryan’s shoulder.

“The happiest I’ve ever been.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> ;3c  
> find me at pinkieplier.tumblr.com  
> (don't be afraid to comment)


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